You’re So Vain
Nathan Hall
Midland SDA Church
January 23, 2021
A few months ago, Hilary and I took our girls on a family vacation to Virginia. The trip was only 6 days, which is relatively short considering we were driving. The main reason for our trip was to visit one of Hilary’s close friends whom she hasn’t seen for a while. While we were there, we planned to go to church with her as well as see some historical sites such as George Washington’s Birth Place, Colonial Williamsburg and the Jamestown Settlement.
As we started planning the trip, I realized that one of the GPS routes would take us right through one of the towns in Maryland where I lived while I was growing up. Not only was I excited because I hadn’t been back to that area in 25 years, but I was going to be able to take my wife and daughters to a place that was very special to me growing up.
Since this was a slight detour from our trip to Virginia, I only had about six hours to show them some of my favorite places from when my parents, brother and I lived there. And being the planner that I am, I crammed in as much as possible into those six hours! I know they enjoyed some of the things that we did, like hiking and stopping at the candy store. And fortunately, they were very patient with me taking them past the house where I lived, both of my Dad’s churches as well as the school where my Mom taught and my brother and I attended. Being there brought back so many memories. Everywhere I looked, around every corner we turned, there were stories of my life.
Obviously, one of the places I spent a lot of time was at the school. As any elementary school boy will tell you, their favorite thing is recess. I was no different and I really enjoyed all of the games that we got to play. I was one of the most athletic students at the school and so I was usually picked as one of the first people when making teams and I usually enjoyed being on the winning team.
Unfortunately, the school only went through 10th grade, so when I got to 10th grade, my parents started to make plans on where I would attend school for the remaining portion of high school. They found out that there were a couple of churches near a Seventh-Day Adventist Academy in Northwest Arkansas that needed a pastor. Both of my parents were born and raised in Arkansas, so they jumped at the opportunity to move back there.
So, at the end of my 10th grade year, my parents, brother and I moved from Maryland back to Arkansas. I was very sad to have to leave my friends who I had known for six years. However, there was a part of me that was excited to start a new school and make new friends. And since I enjoyed playing sports so much, I was also excited to be involved in the intramural sports program they had at the school.
Unfortunately, being a new student at a new school was harder for me than I expected it to be. Especially when you are coming into your Junior year and most of the students have already established their groups of friends during their Freshman and Sophomore years. In spite of that fact, I did make some friends and I was able to find things I enjoyed about the school, which included the intramural sports program.
Most of you are probably familiar with the way that intramural sports programs work. But for those of you who don’t know, intramural sports are made up of student teams that are selected at the beginning of the season. You start with a small group of people who want to be a team captain. Then, the team captains take turns choosing their team from a list of students who want to play. Since, I was new and no one knew how athletic I was, I was chosen pretty close to last for the football season. It was the same for basketball as well as soccer and softball. Obviously, being chosen last in this type of situation did not feel good. It also meant that I generally was not on the best team.
In the spring of that same school year was when we played softball. And this time, I was not only chosen near the end, but I was on a team of leftovers. That’s right, the team captains had filled their teams and those that were leftover were put on a team without a captain. We were the “No Name Team”. About halfway through the softball season, we were scheduled to play the best team at our school. This team was made up of all of the popular athletes and they were undefeated. And in their minds, they had already beaten us. As the game was about to start, I heard several of them joking how they should go ahead and be crowned the champions for that season. Hearing them say those things made me mad. And even though I didn’t expect us to win the game, I decided that I was going to play as hard as I could to beat them.
Now, I don’t know if the other people on my team heard what I heard and they wanted to beat them as bad as I did. I do know, that the “stars aligned” that day and we played our hearts out. Our “No Name Team” came together and we beat those “All-Stars” 30-7 in what would be considered a blowout for a softball game. The satisfaction that came from winning that game was incredible. And that team of popular athletes had just experienced what the Bible calls a “fall”.
Proverbs 16:18 Pride goes before destruction, and a haughty spirit before a fall.
Merriam-Webster says that the word haughty means to be blatantly and disdainfully proud: having or showing an attitude of superiority and contempt for people or things perceived to be inferior.
Have you seen people with this kind of attitude? It’s the attitude of “I’m better than you” or “look at how amazing I am”. People work so hard to puff themselves up in front of others, even if it is subtly. There is a popular song from the early 1970’s by Carly Simon called, “You’re So Vain”. The lyrics to the chorus say, “You’re so vain, you probably think this song is about you”. And even though she never fully-revealed who the song was about, we’ve all known or met people that this song could be about.
Yes, pride truly goes before a fall. That’s because when you’re at the top, there is nowhere to go but down. Sometimes the fall comes because you lost your focus on what you were doing. You stopped being careful and trying as hard like what happened to the All-Star team when I was in high school. Maybe you were trying impress someone you had a crush on and you ended up tripping in front of them or you fell backwards in your seat while showing off to your friends. Unfortunately, this type of fall is not called humility. No, this is called humiliation.
Sometimes the fall is not on account of a mistake that was made. Sometimes the prideful have to be humbled by the Lord. The Bible includes many examples of people with a prideful attitude that were humbled by God.
Pride in Powerful Positions
One such example was King Nebuchadnezzar. Now any one who has studied Bible prophecy is familiar with King Nebuchadnezzar’s dream of the image with the head of gold, etc. But that wasn’t Nebuchadnezzar’s only dream that was recorded in the Bible. His second dream, which can be found in Daniel chapter 4, was about a tree that grew very large so it could be seen over all the earth. It was a beautiful tree, providing food and shade to man and beast. Then the tree was cut down. It was stripped of its strength and beauty, leaving only the stump and roots. Daniel told Nebuchadnezzar that he was the tree and God had decreed that he would be driven from men and his dwelling would be with the beasts of the field until he knew that God is in charge of everything and gives power to whomever He chooses. At the advice of Daniel, Nebuchadnezzar tried really hard to change his ways and was able to delay the punishment that God had decreed. But one year after his dream, he was walking about the palace and said, “Is not this great Babylon, that I have built for a royal dwelling by my mighty power and for the honor of my majesty?” The Bible tells us that that very hour the decree against him was fulfilled. In Daniel 5:20, Daniel explains that it was because Nebuchadnezzar’s heart was lifted up and his spirit hardened in pride.
You may have heard the expression, “power corrupts, and absolute power corrupts absolutely.” Those in powerful positions are especially susceptible to the temptations of pride because they are exposed to them more than the average person. It’s easy to just think of powerful people as the kings and presidents of the world. But, you don’t have to be the leader of a nation to have power. Other powerful positions include leaders of corporations, leaders of universities and even church leaders. For one thing, power brings a lot of attention. Everyone knows who you are and you also have literal power to make things happen. Then there’s the money. People in leadership positions are often paid more than the average person because of the responsibility that they carry on their shoulders. It’s very easy to see why so many leaders have a problem with pride.
Obviously, Nebuchadnezzar was not the only powerful person in the Bible that had an issue with pride. Some of the others included Lucifer and King Uzziah. Unfortunately, in each of these examples, they started out following the Lord. But then their hearts were “lifted up” and they stopped looking to God and started looking to themselves.
Ezekiel 28:17 (Speaking of Lucifer) Your heart was lifted up because of your beauty, you corrupted your wisdom for the sake of your splendor.
2 Chronicles 26:16 (Speaking of King Uzziah) But when he was strong his heart was lifted up, to his destruction, for he transgressed against the Lord his God by entering the temple of the Lord to burn incense on the altar of incense.
You see, even when people have the best intentions, they are still vulnerable to the temptation of pride. We must constantly remember that we our weak and helpless without Christ. The moment we start thinking we are strong is when selfishness and pride show up.
Pride in Accomplishments/Abilities
Sometimes pride rears its ugly head when people are especially talented at something or they have achieved something great. Maybe you submitted your famous jam recipe to the county fair and you just won a blue ribbon. Or, maybe you just graduated Suma Cum Laude from your high school and received a full scholarship to the university of your choice. Or, maybe you’ve been working really hard and have finally scored that promotion at work that you’ve dreamed of. Or, maybe you are really talented musically and you always get asked to sing at church. Whatever the situation, you have that “on top of the world” feeling and it would be easy to start thinking you are better than those around you.
Now just because someone is successful doesn’t mean that they are full of pride. But the temptation to indulge in prideful feelings is very strong for them. I mean what do you expect when they are constantly being congratulated or complimented by those around them. It’s bound to go to their head at some point. If you ever find yourself in this position, the best way to guard against these feelings is to recognize Who should be getting the credit.
Deuteronomy 8:10-18 10 When you have eaten and are full, then you shall bless the Lord your God for the good land which He has given you. 11 Beware that you do not forget the Lord your God by not keeping His commandments, His judgements, and His statutes which I command you today, 12 lest—when you have eaten and are full, and have built beautiful houses and dwell in them; 13 and when your herds and your flocks multiply, and your silver and your gold are multiplied, and all that you have is multiplied; 14 when your heart is lifted up, and you forget the Lord your God who brought you out of the land of Egypt, from the house of bondage; SKIP DOWN TO VERSE 17 17 then you say in your heart, ‘My power and the might of my hand have gained me this wealth,’ 18 And you shall remember the Lord your God, for it is He who gives you power to get wealth, that He may establish His covenant which He swore to your fathers, as it is this day.
We must keep in mind that God is the one has blessed us with talents and abilities. We should give the glory and praise to Him.
Humble-Braggers
For some people, pride comes out in the form of complaining or being critical of themselves. Have you ever heard someone talking about how hard it is the juggle their busy schedule and then they go on to list all of the amazing things they have going on in their life? A former colleague of mine once mentioned to me that they’d barely been able to use their season tickets to the Detroit Lions because they had been so busy decorating their vacation home.
Believe it or not, there is a term for talking this way. It is called humble-bragging. It’s like you want to tell someone about the things that you are most proud of, but say it in a way so it doesn’t sound like you are puffing yourself up. This is type of talk is used often in job interviews. You know the question about “what is your biggest weakness?”. A typical response is saying something like “I work too hard” or “I’m too much of a perfectionist”.
Pride in Relationships
I’m sure each of you can think of other ways that you’ve seen pride show up in your life or in the lives of others. And it’s pretty safe to say that pride affects each of us in some way. Either we are the prideful one or we are friends with, or are related to, someone who is prideful. And this affect is typically a negative one. For most people, spending time with a prideful person usually conjures up feelings of either insecurity or disgust. Either we feel like we are not good enough because we don’t have as many exciting things to talk about or we feel like we want to get away from them as soon as possible.
For me personally, I don’t look forward to being around arrogant and prideful people as I usually have to spend the whole-time suppressing feelings of annoyance. For one thing, have you ever tried to have a discussion with a prideful person? These are the world’s leading experts in every subject they’ve ever read about. They usually don’t even stop talking long enough for you to get a word in, much less be willing to consider an opinion that is different from theirs.
And then there’s the blabber-mouth’s. Whoops! I mean gossipers. These people always seem to have a juicy piece of information to share or a story that they heard from the friend of a friend. The facts are always questionable and what they have to share with you is sure to taint your opinion of the person involved while simultaneously making the tale-bearer feel better about themselves.
Even if the story is true, the person involved probably meant for it to stay private and the kicker is, they don’t even get the chance to confirm or deny what is being said about them. Gossip is basically an assassination of a person’s character as the stories are always negative. It should be a huge red flag to us that gossip is always done behind someone’s back.
What the tale-bearer doesn’t realize is that by spreading their sensational story, they are also calling their own character into question as to whether they can be trusted. Probably the best thing someone can do in this situation is to lovingly interrupt the gossiper and say something like, “Hey, don’t talk about them, they are my friend” or “I really don’t like gossiping”. I know this is probably easier said than done. But if you can pull it off in a loving tone, I believe the person being reproved will ultimately respect you for taking a stand. You see, sometimes we have to be willing to defend those who can’t defend themselves.
Gossip is second only to its ugly cousin criticism. They may seem like the same thing, but instead of there being a story that you heard from someone that you want to pass along, now you are just putting someone down because you disagree with something they are doing. Once again, pride comes out in this attempt to build yourself up by putting someone else down. Topics can range from how someone chooses to raise their kids all the way to disagreeing with how they perform their positions at church.
Speaking of church. Have you ever been talking with someone on Sabbath afternoon and criticized something that was said during the sermon? Maybe you disagreed with something that was said or maybe the sermon was too long? Maybe the speaker couldn’t stay focused on the topic or keep your interest. This may seem innocent to some, but this is a very dangerous place to be. There is a quote from Christ’s Object Lessons that I would like to share with you. When I came across it, it scared me to think how easily we can unknowingly assist Satan in his purposes.
“Satan has many helpers. Many who profess to be Christians are aiding the tempter to catch away the seeds of truth from other hearts. Many who listen to the preaching of the word of God make it the subject of criticism at home. They sit in judgment on the sermon as they would on the words of a lecturer or a political speaker. The message that should be regarded as the word of the Lord to them is dwelt upon with trifling or sarcastic comment. The minister's character, motives, and actions, and the conduct of fellow members of the church, are freely discussed. Severe judgment is pronounced, gossip or slander repeated, and this in the hearing of the unconverted. Often these things are spoken by parents [p. 46] in the hearing of their own children. Thus are destroyed respect for God's messengers, and reverence for their message. And many are taught to regard lightly God's word itself. Thus in the homes of professed Christians many youth are educated to be infidels. And the parents question why their children are so little interested in the gospel, and so ready to doubt the truth of the Bible. They wonder that it is so difficult to reach them with moral and religious influences. They do not see that their own example has hardened the hearts of their children. The good seed finds no place to take root, and Satan catches it away.” Christ’s Object Lessons, p. 45-46
Unfortunately, in addition to the relationships we have with our neighbors, coworkers and friends, pride also spills over into our marriages and is a major reason for divorce. Have you ever heard the term “Irreconcilable Differences”? Basically, this is a fancy term for not being able to get along with each other. Have you ever argued with your spouse? Of course, your answer is yes. I remember when Hilary and I were dating. We were hanging out with a married couple friend of ours and we mentioned that we never argued. Our friends laughed out loud at us and said something to the effect of “just wait”. And you know what? They were right! You see, there will always be differences of opinions and sometimes those turn into arguments. Actually, arguing is not the main problem. The main problem is how we act toward each other during the argument. Since arguing is bound to happen, the main thing we should be focused on is diffusing it and reconciling with each other as soon as possible.
Too often though, we let our pride take over and are unwilling to back down. Maybe your spouse said something that hurt your feelings and instead of trying to diffuse the situation, you throw an insult back at them. When an argument gets to this point, you are no longer arguing about the original topic. And it can quickly escalate to a situation where one or both of the spouses decides they can’t take it anymore and don’t want to be married any longer.
Tragically, some of these same arguments turn violent and end in the worst way imaginable. A couple of years ago, I came across a news story that I am going to share with you. But since there are some young ears in the room, I am going to spell one of the words, so you’ll need to pay attention. Anyway, as I said I came across this story about a man who had k-i-l-l-e-d his wife. They were on a vacation together and it happened during an argument in their hotel room. As tragic as this story was to read, the thing that I will never forget is what he said to the arresting officers. He said, “she wouldn’t shut up”. So, in essence, he was saying that the reason he did it, was to shut her up. Let that one sink in for a bit. PAUSE
You know, it takes a strong person to say they’re sorry. It’s hard to do. It means you have to stop defending your wounded pride. You have to take ownership for what you’ve done and make it right. By doing this, you show your spouse that you love them and value them above yourself. For some of us, this may seem like an impossible task, but I believe that God is able to help us do hard things if we ask for His help.
Pride in Self-Sufficiency
So far, all of the examples that I have mentioned today have focused on some of the more obvious signs that someone has pride in their life. Most people know how to recognize these signs as they are revealed by how someone behaves. The next indication that someone is dealing with pride in their life is less obvious. But before I tell you what it is, I want to share with you another short story about myself.
Hilary and I have two daughters. Both of them were born premature and both of them spent time in a NICU. Right after our oldest daughter was born, we were burning up the roads between where we lived in Hot Springs, Arkansas and where the hospital was in Little Rock. The round-trip is about 100 miles and we were driving there 1-2 times per day for about 6 weeks. One day, my Uncle David and Aunt Joyce, who is one of my Dad’s sisters, stopped by the house to visit with Hilary and I and see how things were going. When they were about to head home, my Uncle David pulled me aside and gave me $100 to help us out during that time. You see, they realized that we needed the assistance. So, they gave us the money out of their love for us. It was a gift.
My reaction to it was not what you’d probably expect. You see, I don’t like to have help from others, especially financial help. It’s not that I don’t like having more money. But it’s the source of the money that I struggle with. My reaction to someone who has helped me in my time of need has always been to resist. Accepting the money means I have to admit that I need help. And for someone who likes to feel like they have it all together, that can be a big problem. You know what that’s called? It’s called pride.
There is another short quote from Christ’s Object Lessons that I came across while preparing for my sermon today. It addresses this issue head-on and provides a strong warning to anyone who considers themselves to be self-sufficient. You can find it on pages 154-155.
“There is nothing so offensive to God, or so dangerous to the human soul, as pride and self-sufficiency. Of all sins it is the most hopeless, the most incurable.” (p. 154) It goes on to say on the following page that “Our only safety is the constant distrust of self, and dependence on Christ.” (p.155)
The biggest problem with wanting to be self-sufficient is that it can also affect your relationship with God. If you constantly look to yourself for your needs, then you stop looking to God. If you have trouble recognizing your physical weaknesses, then it also may be hard to recognize your spiritual weaknesses. This same attitude is the very reason why the Laodicean church is called lukewarm.
Revelation 3:16-17 16 So then, because you are lukewarm, and neither cold nor hot, I will vomit you out of My mouth. 17 Because you say, ‘I am rich, have become wealthy, and have need of nothing’—and do not know that you are wretched, miserable, poor, blind and naked.
Jesus spoke against this very attitude when He was here on this earth. During that time, the religious leaders of Israel had placed a huge focus on works. And they worked so hard to make sure they looked good in front of others. By doing this, they turned serving God into a burden and removed any concept that salvation could be a gift. They craved the attention they got in the marketplace and they always wanted the best seats at feasts (Matthew 23:12).
Jesus told a parable of the Pharisee and the Tax Collector. I’m sure you’re familiar with the story. Please turn there with me in your Bibles.
Luke 18:9-14 Also He spoke this parable to some who trusted in themselves that they were righteous, and despised others. 10 “Two men went up to the temple to pray, one a Pharisee and the other a tax collector. 11 The Pharisee stood and prayed thus with himself, ‘God, I thank You that I am not like other men—extortioners, unjust, adulterers, or even as this tax collector. 12 I fast twice a week; I give tithes of all that I possess.’ 13 And the tax collector, standing afar off, would not so much as raise his eyes to heaven, but beat his breast, saying, ‘God, be merciful to me a sinner!’ 14 I tell you, this man went down to his house justified rather than the other; for everyone who exalts himself will be humbled, and he who humbles himself will be exalted.”
CLOSING APPEAL
We must always live our lives in the realization that we need the Lord. We are nothing without Him and He is the only one that deserves to be lifted up. It is because Christ humbled Himself in coming to this earth and being willing to die for our sins, that we have the opportunity at eternal life with Him. Salvation is a gift. If we are too prideful to admit our need for Christ, then we cannot accept the precious gift of salvation.
Ephesians 2:8-9 For by grace you have been saved through faith, and that not of yourselves, it is the gift of God, 9 not of works, lest anyone should boast.
Jeremiah 9:23-24 Thus says the Lord: Let not the wise man glory in his wisdom, let not the mighty man glory in his might, nor let the rich man glory in his riches, 24 But let him who glories glory in this, that he understands and knows Me, that I am the LORD, exercising lovingkindness, judgement, and righteousness in the earth. For in these I delight, says the Lord.
Dear friends, Jesus is coming very, very soon. Now is the time examine our lives and finally admit to ourselves that we really are wretched, miserable, poor, blind and naked. If we are willing to humble ourselves in the sight of the Lord, He will lift us up (James 4:10).