Coney Dogs, Cold Water, and Christ

Aaron Cloutier

Midland SDA Church

August 31, 2019

          It is such a pleasure to be in this house of worship today. Im not saying that in the general sense…apathy. I literally mean I get excited being here. Why wouldn’t I!? This is a beautiful church. I know and believe God dwells with us anywhere but what a place of solace this church is. And I’m not just taking about the architecture. You all make up a group of people nearest to my heart. This church family…what a blessing it is to be part of it.

          But allow me to introduce myself to those of you who may not know who I am. My name Is Aaron Cloutier and I am joined today by my wife Michelle of 11 years and my daughter Amelia and my Son Emery. We are members of the Midland SDA church which Michelle and I have called home now for 5 years. A little ironic because we were married here! Our home church did not have a center aisle. Plus the double Forte on the pipe organ was on point!  So that was our first run into this location. And I suppose this will be my first presentation as an elder of this church.  This is a very humbling experience for me…especially when you consider the prayer and work that many people made on my behalf to make my presence in this church a reality.

          It is my desire today to be transparent with all of you. I am not worthy to be up here speaking. My life often times reflects someone who still struggles with even the most elementary occasions of faith. BUT…I serve a loving God, and I serve a BIG GOD. And He is a God who is the business restoration and who prides Himself in bringing things full circle.

2 Tim 1:12

I am not ashamed: for I know whom I have believed, and am persuaded that he is able to keep that which I have committed unto him against that day.

Today I want to share my experience with all of you. And it is my hope that your take away will be positive and that you will see that God is good to us, even when we are slow to receive Him.

So, I guess I should give some life context given the nature of my testimony. My immediate family and I are from West KY with exception of my dad whos family have been indigenous to local tribal areas fro centuries. But what I can tell you about KY are really just the things I remember most about my old home: Red clay, Ham festivals, tobacco fields, and church.  Dixie land is undeniably littered with churches as its part of the the bible belt. And let me tell you my family was no stranger to the gathering of believers. I remember both of my parents being heavily involved in ministries; reaching out into the local community and visiting various places of worship. And I swear I’ve seen the all.  I’ve heard folks speaking in tongues and dancers lifting their hands to God. Ive seen the fear of hellfire in the eyes of a new believer as they were saved in the name of the Lord in under  5 minutes. I’ve also seen worship services which were nothing more than a massive extension of the music service in which praises to God were only done through singing and skilled instrumental ability. Oh yes, both mom and dad were sure to make my brothers aware of the existence of God.

By the way, as a side note…don’t ever under estimate the power of Sundy  school “Sabbath School”. The building blocks which are laid in those little classrooms are fundamental. So really, as and adolescent, having the exposure to the liturgy of the church the way I did…church  dogma became a fixture in my life.  My identity as a Christian became concrete a very early age.  Because of this I don’t know that I can say I was ever completely deviated from God. But , like many people who were raised in the church but really only clung to tradition and normalcy, like them I would struggle with morale dilemmas which are unique to young Christians trying to figure themselves out.

MOVING FORWARD

          When I was just south of 10 years old my family decided to move up here to Mid MI when dad was offered work on the reservation.  And while this change was exciting and offered something new…in retrospect it actually caused a lot of turbulence in my life, in my family’s life.  It was a big change.  Funny enough, mtpleasant seemed like a metropolis to me comparatively to our homeland. It was different in culture, I needed to find new friends, new schools, and of course new churches because ofcourse J

So over the course of a couple years we settled In Rosebush. Dad and mom would also spend much of this period window licking “shopping” for a church…mostly non-denominational. Infact, Audi Hawkins can testify to this experience given our run a few times church shopping.

It was also about this time was becoming noticeably heavier. And being the new kid in school didn’t help that matter. I was affectionately referred to as flubbber, chunk, curly fries cuz of my hair. As if I didn’t realize I was portly already, the others were quick to remind me. I remember an instance when my mom was on the phone with my aunt “ yeah…we were just doing some clothes shopping…he wears a medium husky shirt”

SIDENOTE: There is no such thing as medium husky. It’s called a size large.  Big boned is fake, stout is fake…I was indeed just good old fashioned large.

Anyways, here I was an obese preteen, having a hard time fitting in “pun intended.” And all of a sudden, Dad finds a flier in the mail for prophecy seminars with an emphasis on health…to be held in the Clare secretary of State building. Dad starts going, family starts going after a few nights. It was normal to experience another small impromptu style church service. And obviously no surprise here, being put on by Adventists, the theology was different but certainly agreeable. But I tell you what…I had never heard of soy milk or almond cheese before that seminar. They would serve these health samples, my brother” another fat kid” and I would look at each other like “ what is going on here!?” And I will never forget night 26…I think we all still had pork chops on our breathe when the discussion turned to health principles as found in the Levitical cannon. Awww, I see…tricky healthy people with their special K loaf and cheese alternatives. I thought for sure that seminar was over for us after that.

SIDENOTE: Don’t tell a fat kid what to eat. From experience…you are not doing anyone any favors by doing this. Mom and dad already tried to have me play optimist soccer which was a massive failure and they also sent me to a dietitian who tried to limit my taco bell experience to only two tacos. That, Brothers and sister is how you make a young man rebel.

But you know what? We came back to that seminar. And long story short. We were all baptized into the SDA church. Shortly after that, we would start attending the Mt pleasant location…Wolcott was preacher at this time.

          What a wonderful church family who received us. The folks who welcomed us were sincere and profoundly invested into our presence there.  And I wish, my testimony could end here…that I grew into my faith and I would go on from this point and grow into the Lord. Unfortunately, this would actually mark the beginning of my slow rebellion. It would also be the beginning of many morale dilemmas I would face givin the “faith” I had, and the friends I would soon adopt, and the lifestyle I would also try to identify with.  I’ve heard that many of the older ladies in that church prayed for me as a teenager and into early adulthood. That my name was on prayer chains. Id also get cards in the mail and random phone calls. My heart breaks thinking that while I was out trying to experiment, these people were lifting my name up to God. Here I was turning my back on real friends and family. Classic dumby…allowing my heart to lead and not my head.

          But you know, I would still talk to God occasionally. Mostly when I was in a pickle but much of the time I was really just testing His existence. Maybe it was guilt…I don’t know. What I do know is God will always get the short end of your attention when you are lukewarm Christian and a hot blooded young man.

          Speaking of hormones and the worst decision for a fat kid ever…my first job. I heard the new A&W restaurant here in town was hiring and I got an interview. First real interview ever, the hiring manager leans over the table says “you and one other guy...would be working with 13 young ladies”. Obviously he was trying to sell me on the job offer but he didn’t know was I was already sold on the prospect of onion rings and root beer. I think I accepted that job without even asking what pay was or anythingJ

SIDENOTE: Working with a bunch of young woman NOT as good as advertised. Here you are fantasizing about working along side fast food goddesses making yummy stuff. Yeah right…you are on dish detail and bathroom duty guaranteed. What a sucker.

I stuck with the job though. And unfortunately I was quick to take home the leftovers from work where I would retire into a state of self fulfilment and emptiness. This happened on many occasions but one day I can only faintly remember reaching out to God asking Him for a change. I don’t know what change I was exactly looking for but I asked for it. You see, I had tried to lose weight before and tried to do life better…but was I really waning to?

          One day, things changed. I remember walking into work and actually having feelings of repulsion from the work atmosphere. The grease, the sugar.  All the stuff we know is terrible for you but don’t care and eat it anyway. Naturally, I just sopped eating stuff like that and payed more attention to other appetizing stuff which in retrospect was a little healthier. I also remember not long after  that having to go to the ER to get something out of my eye. You know how they weigh you before hand, yeah…I had lost 25 pounds and didn’t even know it. You see, when you are 325 lbs., losing 25 isn’t visibly noticeable.  But in that moment, I felt new meaning to my life, and I also felt control for the first time and value. And I quickly remembered asking God for change and for the first time in my life I knew, not just heard, but knew  God loved me and that He was real. There was no other explanation for why that happened. I knew it wasn’t me!

          Turn with me to Phil 2:13. Obviously we all know what great things the Lord is capable of, and what could be done through us when we become conduits of his glory. But sometimes we forget that He goes beyond just strengthening us, but gives us the desire to accomplish XYZ. After all those years of being unhealthy, it was HE who genuinely made me want to make that change. And so, what I started to do was apply some of those whacked out health ideas I’ve been listening to for a decade and lost over 150lbs in under 11 months. Truestory J  You see, you don’t need to tell somebody of their shortcoming.  9/10 they already know they are unhealthy, or breaking the law, or whatever. What they need is for the Lord to initiate reason in their life and to want the change. You cant do that for someone else.  My advice is to pray for said individual to experience Holy desire.

And so, this is the part where I should say that I used my new belief in Gods ability to shape my life into something worthwhile. That would only be expected after such a positive change in my life thanks to the Lord. But NOPE! Now Mr. Rebellion is on the loose and now is half his weight: confident, cocky, and now manipulative given my taste for control. Now again, I didn’t quite turn my back on God, but did proceed to put him in my front pocket…you know, as a power accessory. I knew full well that the Lord had an interest in my life, and I also knew what that would mean if I were to proceed digging into that relationship. However, I was just not ready. I instead wanted to do different things with my life. I mean after all, I was into my twenties, I had been a lethargic Christian for years, plus I was an adult…I wanted to make sure I was creating my identity into something I wanted. Maybe it was a control move…I don’t know. But I experienced this severe dichotomy in my life for a good chunk of time…until one faithful day.

          It was June of 2007, some friends and I decided to go camp at Coldwater lake over the weekend. I had met Michelle just a few months prior and we were dating…so naturally she joined.  And we all had plans to go fishing, go tubing, party, etc . Dad had purchased a new boat so I twisted his arm letting the group of us borrow it. It was a Sabbath afternoon and we all decided to grab the water tubes and hit the lake…and see what dads new boat could do on open water. So, here we have my friend Micah on a tube being pulled on an exceptionally long rope. My good friend Mark was driving the boat. Michelle was riding behind in the bow, and I was upfront on the stern swivel seat. And we go back and forth across the lake a couple times. And finally we all decided to give Micah a good time, so we reached the North side of Coldwater lake and we began to rush to the south picking up a bunch of speed. So here we are, cruising, everyone is looking back at the tuber to see if he had fallen off yet. Surprisingly he hadn’t. So I had the bright idea to stand up and take a picture of all the action.

SIDE NOTE: Don’t stand up in a moving boat.

          Just about the time I stood up, Mark cranked the wheel forcing the boat to turn left in an effort to launch Micah off the tube. Instead, I was catapulted off the front of the boat, underneath the hull into the boat motor. Meanwhile, no one notices I had fallen off.

SIDE NOTE: there remains a sweet digital camera on the bottom of that lake with some great pictures from that summer. If you find it, hit me up.

          I actually don’t remember much. What I do recall were only small fragments through this whole event, so I am going off of third party perspective here. But apparently Micah saw  my bright orange tank top floating in the water and dove off the tube to recover me out of the water. It was then I briefly remember being pushed back into the boat…river of red coming running off me. Michelle tells me my leg was sliced through in a few spots and my face was flayed open. My friend Mark…being a first responder “awfully convenient” did what he knew best with trauma like that. I briefly remember being drug on shore and then a moment where I was laying in the ambulance starring upwards thinking what an uncomfortable ride that was. And then, all of a sudden…Its like I flashed forward into the Mt pleasant trauma room and I can hear everybody. I think I was pretty drugged up at this point but still had some mental recognition. I certainly remember the nurses cutting my brand new Abercrombie shorts off of me which made me mad. I also remember my family there…my dad trying to pop jokes because that’s what he did. And all of a sudden I hear pastor Darren Greenfield…who’s accent stands out. Apparently someone called him in. And honestly, I cant remember much of what  he said to me except that I looked terrible. And In response I said…I want to be baptized. Now, I don’t why I said that…its not something I remember thinking a lot of at that point in my life, maybe it was the drugs or just the shock of the situation. But I cant remember anything after that except waking up in Saginaw. My leg was in a cast and my head was all wrapped up and swollen. After some surgeries and recovery time I was sent home where I would be laid up for a month. Exactly where a young guy like me wants to be…stuck at my parents’ house needing help bathing and such.

          Needless to say I was forced to slow down and experience humility.

Turn with me to Hagai 1:4. Think about the application here. We have a group of people who have begun to turn their back on the Lord and build for themselves other homes…which are adorned or paneled as some bibles say. Who here isn’t guilty of this? We are all the time trying to fill that void in our lives trying to make our own lives busy, exciting, and attractive while our spiritual lives remain in wreckage? But lets read on vs 5-6. At the end of the road, that life we are trying to create separate from the Lord is fleeting, and exhausting, and void. Plain and simply pointless.

          And for me…I cant explain it, I don’t know what is was about that accident, but after being helpless and humbled, for the first time in my life I saw that my current life trajectory was meaningless…which is a nightmare for someone trying to form his own identity and self-worth.

          So what do I do now? I have all the time in the world to think about deeper things.  I begin finding myself reaching for things in my life which conveyed real importance and value…whats real?, and the things which seemed to bolster my identity and not dismantle it.  And do you know what came to mind? Mrs Holmes, Patty Phelps, Pete and Susan Moutsatson, Shannon Brantley, The Clares, Linda Easton…the people who through my rebellion would still engage me and let me know I still had value here. And for the first time in my life, I began to see church as something more than just church…but a home and a place to grow.  And I began to see God…a restorer. The things he had done in my life were undeniable.

          Not long after these thoughts entered my mind I would begin to attend church regularly. Pastor Greenfield was quick to intercept my new interest in Christianity and worked hard to help make concrete the things I had already known but didn’t apply. And so, here I am today.