Son-In-Law of the King
Pastor Rod Thompson
Midland SDA Church
February 16, 2019
In 1 Samuel 17 we have the story where David kills Goliath. The women sing Saul has killed his thousands and David his ten thousands and Saul becomes jealous. He tries to kill David
Read 1 Samuel 18: 17-19
Here we see that Saul decides that it would be better to have their enemies kill David instead of him doing it himself. But David goes out and has victories over their enemies.
Read 1 Samuel 18: 22 – 27
I want you to notice the attitude of David in this story. He says, “Is it a small thing to be the son-in-law of the king?”
Whenever I am in the grocery store or Walmart I have this habit of looking at the cover of tabloids while I am standing in the checkout line. I usually just read the cover story highlights and it is usually about some movie star who is breaking up with their husband or wife, or some drug addiction that they are dealing with. But, occasionally they have stories about the British royals. Talking about Meghan Markle and prince Harry or Kate Middleton and Prince William.
And I have often wondered if Meghan and Kate new what they were getting into. Is it a small thing to be married to someone in the royal family? Now their life is constantly on display, they are always in the limelight.
Well, you might say, “I don’t know pastor , but what does that have to do with me?” That’s a great question – I’m glad you asked.
I want you to think about this for a minute. When you ask a woman to marry you, when a woman marries a man and that man or that woman are a child of God (a believer) you are marrying into the family of God. And now God (king of the universe) is your father-in-law.
Is it a small thing to be the son-in-law or the daughter -in-law of the king of the universe?
A Life Long Love – By Gary Thomas P35
“When I disrespect my wife or am condescending toward her or mistreat her in anyway. I am courting trouble with her heavenly father, who feels passionately about her welfare.”
In a positive sense, when I am actively caring for my wife, loving her, and seeking opportunities to showcase her beauty to others, I am pleasing God in about as high a level as He can be pleased.
Turn with me to 1 Peter 3
Viewing God as Father-in-law can help us understand Peters words
Read 1 Peter 3:7
In our way of thinking we might say, I need to pray for a better marriage. But notice that Peter, under inspiration of the Holy Spirit is telling us the opposite. He says, we need to have better marriages so that nothing will hinder our prayers.
I have three daughters, perhaps some of you have daughters as well. Imagine some young man coming to you, praising you, complimenting you on your character, even singing songs about you and giving you 10% of his income, and all the while he is making your daughter’s life miserable through abuse or neglect.
I don’t know about you, but I don’t think I would want to have anything to do with that young man. Except to say, start treating my daughter better, then we can talk. You say you respect me. OK – then take care of my little girl.
In the same manner, If you don’t treat your wife or your husband well, than how can you expect God to answer your prayers. That’s what Peter is telling us. And it makes sense doesn’t it? If you are not treating your spouse well, respecting them as God’s daughter or His son, giving them all the privileges that the high standing of being a child of the king requires, then your pray life is going to be hindered.
A young woman, raised by a single mom married into an extremely wealthy family. The families wedding present to her was to pay off her considerable student loans and credit card debt. And then they bought a house for her mom. The young lady thought, How can I ever repay them?
The answer is remarkably simple. Love their son as a husband has never been loved before. There are few parents alive who wouldn’t give most of what they have to see their children loved so well.
I can never repay God for what He has done for me. But I can love His daughter well. I can make Him smile by how I treat her. And one of His smiles is worth more than silver or gold.
I read a story in that book by Gary Thomas, called A lifelong love, where he describes this woman who kept going to her pastor complaining about her husband. Finally, one day the pastor said too her, I don’t want to hear anymore. Before you go home today I want you to go into the sanctuary, get down on your knees, and ask God to show you just what life is like for your husband and why he has become what he is. The woman found herself dumbfounded. How could a man of God be so unchristian and insensitive? But she did what he asked her to do. She went into the sanctuary and began to pray.
At first, she recited all the good things her husband had going for him. His meals cooked just the way he liked them, his clothes washed and ironed, a sexually responsive wife, what more could he want? What is his problem?
But once her opinions and negative views ran out, God’s thoughts crept into her mind. God reminded her that two months after their wedding the law firm that her husband worked for filed bankruptcy and he lost his job, then God reminded her that a few months after that she became disabled and lost her job as well and how this left them homeless. Then her husband’s mother died suddenly and unexpectedly. With little time to grieve he moved his family to another area. But that didn’t work out, so he was forced to ask his father if his family could move in with him.
As the woman sat there contemplating all of these things she began to wonder how her husband must have been feeling through all of this. She realized that he must have felt like an utter failure. No wonder he had been acting the way he was. And for the first time she began to hurt for her husband. She began to see things through his eyes.
Friends, do you see what happened. Through prayer her angry accusations transformed themselves into tears of empathy. Now she was no longer a prosecuting attorney, in prayer she became a defense counselor.
This is the journey that marriage calls us to, to seek to understand and empathize, for each of us to strive to become a redemptive partner rather than a legal opponent. If we truly want to love God’s son’s and daughter’s, we must seek to understand God’s son’s and daughter’s.
Story of Elmer asking for a new pastor.
Brothers and sisters have you ever asked God why your spouse is the way they are?
Turn with me to Romans 8
In the midst of your frustration with your spouse, boyfriend or girlfriend, have you ever sought God’s perspective for what has bent them in their current direction
Read Romans 8:31
Simply put, we must be for our spouses as God is for us. As He was for us, even in our sin.
Do you realize that in the height of your rebellion against God, that He was for you?
Read Romans 5:6-11
1 Peter 2:9 But you are a chosen generation, a royal priesthood, a holy nation. His own special people, that you may proclaim the praises of Him who called you out of darkness into His marvelous light.
What are Paul and Peter telling us? They’re saying that God is working out your salvation, softening your heart, calling you into His kingdom. And He forgave you.
In your deepest rebellion and most selfish state, God called you out of darkness. That’s how God treated you. So is it too much for Him to ask us to treat our spouses – His son’s and daughter’s – with the same grace that we have received?
Evil in a spouse can’t be excused, but it can be understood. I don’t want anyone here to try and “explain away” abusive behavior. Please don’t take this the wrong way. But marriage does call for us to at least try and understand our spouses struggles as God understands them – looking through the kindly, paternal eyes of our loving heavenly Father-in-law instead of through angry, resentful eyes of judgment.
We can have empathy for others even while despising what they are doing. We can completely disagree with their responses even as we feel their pain.
That’s the key – our relationship with God means he never loses empathy for His children, even as He truly hates when we sin or hurt others.
Ephesians 5:25 Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave Himself for her
What’s Paul saying here? Just like Jesus never loses His empathy for the church, we must not lose our empathy either, especially for our spouses.
If we will go into prayer like this woman did for her husband, like I counselled Elmer to do for his pastor, God will listen.
God can help us – see the other side – that is the burden’s and hurts of our spouse – instead of being consumed by our burdens and hurts.
Romans 12:21 Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good
May God transform us, that we learn to respond to evil with holy hearts.
I don’t often recommend movies to anyone. But this morning I want to recommend one to you. It’s called, “The war room.”
I don’t want to tell you the whole movie, but I’ll tell you just a little. In this movie a woman is struggling with her marriage and she doesn’t know what to do. But then a very Godly woman gives her some advice, pray for your husband.
Brothers and sisters that’s the best thing that we can do for our marriage. If you want a strong marriage pray for it. Because if you want any of your prayers to be answered you’ve got to have a strong marriage first. Why? So that nothing will hinder your prayers.
It’s not a small thing to be the son-in-law of the king. It’s not a small thing to be married to the daughter of God.
Christian marriage – sacred marriage – isn’t simply about avoiding mockery or abuse. It’s not about “not doing” what non-Christian spouses do. Sacred marriage is about so much more. If we could only see how much God wants us to honor our spouses in the eyes of others, in the eyes of heaven even in private when we are alone.
Now there may be someone here this morning who is thinking to themselves, that’s nice pastor, but what happens when a sacred marriage doesn’t work.
My response to that is simple; Just because a sacred marriage hasn’t produced desired change in your spouse doesn’t mean it hasn’t worked
Story of my Mom and Dad - She was faithful even when he was hard headed and obtuse. She stayed with him until the day he died. I have hope that he will be in heaven.
Romans 2: 6-8
You see brothers and sisters it may appear that all your praying and all your extra special effort to love you spouse as a child of God is going unrewarded. And it may appear that there is no change that has been produced in our spouse. But that doesn’t mean it hasn’t worked – It has worked, provided it has produced the desired change in you.
You see when that Pastor told that woman to go pray and ask God why her husband was the way he was, when I asked Elmer to pray for his pastor – the hope is that God would change their heart. You can’t do anything about the choices of others and you can’t change anyone. God will never take away their free will, but you can surrender your heart to god and ask Him to change you.
To give you a sympathetic heart. A concern for their wellbeing. Let Him show you how you can love them like He desires you would.
1 Corinthians 7:14 For the unbelieving husband is sanctified by the wife, and the unbelieving wife is sanctified by the husband.
Your spouse is the child of the king. It is no small matter to be the son-in-law, daughter-in-law of the king.
So how are you going to treat them.
This might offend some of you, but Jesus doesn’t talk about equality in heaven.
In Matthew 5:19 He speaks of those who are greater and lesser in heaven
In Matthew 5:12 He speaks of those who will receive greater rewards or lesser rewards
In a similar negative way He speaks of some who are beaten with few strips and some with many in Luke 12: 47-48
But I want to finish today with this quote from
Ephesians 6:8 The Lord will reward each one for whatever good they do
This understanding alone can radically revolutionize the way we face each day of marriage
It’s not a small thing to be son-law of the king