An Attitude of Gratitude
Dorothy Dalton
Midland SDA Church
November 30, 2013
We want to spend some time this morning thinking about the people God has placed in our lives. You know He does nothing without a purpose and not a sparrow falls without his awareness. Job 23:10 says that He knoweth the way that I take and 34:21”His eyes are upon the ways of man and he seeth all his goings.” We have a personal God: one who wants the best for us and is available 24:7, waiting to be invited into each hour of our day. I have had a very emotional few weeks and so this message has come from my heartache and the insights I have discovered.
To begin; I am going to allow you a couple minutes and I would like you to take your bulletin and find a blank space. There I would like you to list at least 5 people that make up your world. Think especially of those you have had interaction with during this week. You can list more, but list at least 5 people. Good or bad; what 5 names come to your mind immediately? Maybe its people you see every day or maybe people you work with or go to school with or have exchanged e-mail or phone calls with. They are very important to your life. And if you have trouble spelling your spouse’s name just ask, they will help you.
Prayer
I would like to suggest to you an idea; and that is to a large degree, your happiness is found in these relationships that you have listed on your bulletin. If these relationships are fruitful, so goes your life. If these relationships go south, so does your life. I suggest to you a second idea, and that is to a large extent your security depends on these relationships. My hunch is; that most of us could endure a natural disaster or economic downturn before we could handle the corruption or destruction of this network of relationships. In fact, if you listen to any interview of those who have lost everything in massive fires, tornadoes or devastating floods you often hear statements like: “we all are okay and that is what counts” or “we can rebuild but we can’t replace lives” or I’m happy our lives were spared.”
We
really need people! These relationships you have listed: these names that came
to your mind are the most treasured assets of your life. The most valuable
possession you have is not in a garage, in a bank account, IRA, or a jewelry
box. The most valuable possession of your life is found in the relationships
that make up your life. Which is curious, because we tend to spend most of
life learning to accrue, purchase and achieve in many areas that have nothing
to do with relationships. We work 40 hours a week to make money, we go to
college to earn a degree, and we work hard to obtain social advantage. But
seldom do we take time to learn how to be a better people person, which by the
way we all are: Like it or not. And to say we should enjoy our relationships
is like telling a lumberjack he should learn to enjoy more trees or a fish that
he should learn to enjoy swimming. Relationships are simply a part of life and
not an option. Most of us can relate to Linus, the great philosopher of the
Peanuts cartoons who said, “I love mankind ... it's people I
can't stand!!”
― Charles M. Schulz, The
Complete Peanuts, Vol. 5: 1959-1960
Learning to live with people is a challenge. A favorite quote of mine that you may have heard. “To live above with those we love, O, that will be glory; but to live below with those we know; now, that is another story!”
The topic of relationships is always relevant, because people are always present. And people can become either a source of strength or a source of strife. The choice is up to you. They can either be a help or a hassle and the choice is up to you.
It might surprise you to know that God wants us to enjoy people. He enjoys people. There is not a person that he doesn’t love. John 3:16 tells us that because of His great love for the entire world; He sent His Son to save those who believe on Him. He wants us to enjoy people, too. Have you heard the song “We Always Hurt the Ones We Love? Why is that? Could it be that within the family relationships we truly experience the greatest testing of our love? In fact, are you aware that in the book of Ecclesiastes 9:9 of the NIV the wise man says, “Men enjoy life with your wife?” What a great statement. Not tolerate life or endure life; but, enjoy your life with your wife. Many times I had read and heard the Ten Commandments before I noticed the one that said, “Honor your father and mother so that you may live a long and joyful life.” The greater blessing comes to the one who does the honoring, not the ones who are honored. You receive a blessing when you learn to enjoy people.
Barbara Bush, 1st Lady and wife of George W. Bush has said “never lose sight of the fact that the most important yardstick of your success will be how you treat other people-—your family, friends, and coworkers and even the strangers you meet along the way.”
I want to suggest four practical ways that you can enjoy people. And I am quarrying these thoughts out of my favorite book; the book of Philippians Chapter one. An appropriate book, when thinking about enjoying: because the word joy or a relative of it appears in the book,15 times. And if you remember, Paul wrote this letter to the church in Philippi, when he was in prison. And so the fact that you have an incarcerated person, unaware of what lay ahead, discovering joy and it causes us to want to know what he knows. Let’s look at:
Living Bible (TLB)
1 From: Paul and Timothy, slaves of Jesus Christ.
To: The pastors and deacons and all the Christians in the city of Philippi.
2 May God bless you all. Yes, I pray that God our Father and the Lord Jesus Christ will give each of you his fullest blessings and his peace in your hearts and your lives.
3 All my prayers for you are full of praise to God! 4 When I pray for you, my heart is full of joy5 because of all your wonderful help in making known the Good News about Christ from the time you first heard it until now. 6 And I am sure that God who began the good work within you will keep right on helping you grow in his grace until his task within you is finally finished on that day when Jesus Christ returns.
7 How natural it is that I should feel as I do about you, for you have a very special place in my heart. We have shared together the blessings of God, both when I was in prison and when I was out, defending the truth and telling others about Christ. 8 Only God knows how deep is my love and longing for you—with the tenderness of Jesus Christ. 9 My prayer for you is that you will overflow more and more with love for others, and at the same time keep on growing in spiritual knowledge and insight, 10 for I want you always to see clearly the difference between right and wrong, and to be inwardly clean, no one being able to criticize you from now until our Lord returns. 11 May you always be doing those good, kind things that show you are a child of God, for this will bring much praise and glory to the Lord.
12 And I want you to know this, dear brothers: Everything that has happened to me here has been a great boost in getting out the Good News concerning Christ. 13 For everyone around here, including all the soldiers over at the barracks, knows that I am in chains simply because I am a Christian.
I believe this letter from Paul offers us 4 keys to enjoying people. First of all be grateful, be grateful, for the good. As you look at the names you have placed on your paper; what emotions surface? What emotions do you have, are they positive or negative? When you think of these names do you think; oh, that is the fellow who borrowed my golf clubs and didn’t return them. That is the lady who backed into my car at Meijer’s. That is the worker who got the promotion that should have been mine, that is my daughter who does not clean her room, that is my husband who keeps my car in good condition, or that is……… You fill in the blanks. Are the emotions positive or negative? When the apostle Paul remembered the people in Philippi he remembered them with joy. He chose to only allow happy memories to have residence in his memory bank. You say, Dorothy, that is probably easy after all, he is an apostle and Philippi was probably a wonderful church. Well, if you go back and read Acts 16 you may be surprised that in Philippi he was falsely accused and falsely imprisoned and he is writing from jail. He could have had memories of Philippi that were far less than positive. But, Paul determined, “when I think of you I thank God every time!”
Computers can teach us a lesson. Computers only remember what we tell them to remember, don’t they? I would like to suggest to you that you don’t have to remember everything that happens to you. That is up to you. You don’t have to push the enter button, you don’t have to push the save button, keep your hand off the mouse and don’t click it. Just let the memory go somewhere else. You are not commanded to remember it. You can practice selective retention when it comes to people, who don’t fulfill your expectations. Pleasant memories are a choice. Remember the best and forget the rest. I am not minimizing what people have done to you or said about you. I am simply stating that if those memories are stealing your joy it could be because you are allowing them to remain.
Sometime ago I read about an actor in Hollywood who had a lion cub in his house. Quite a conversation piece, this lion cub. It would steal all the attention at parties because it was so cute and cuddly and would bound from chair to chair and person to person. An honest to goodness, lion cub! Then one day, the actor’s worse nightmare came true and the true characteristic of that lion came forth and it sprung upon his two year old son and mauled him. It was only a matter of time before the true character of that lion would be seen. Do you or I have lion cubs in our heart prowling around from here to there and they really seem harmless? Those lion cubs of bitterness, or anger, or hurt feelings and resentment. Again, I am not saying that what they did to you is right and I hardly blame you for having that hurt in your heart. I can tell you that it is only a matter of time before that lion cub reaches a level of maturity and the true nature of those hurts is going to spring forth and somebody is going to get clawed and it may be you. Resentment is when we allow our hurts to become hates. Isn’t it interesting that we forget all kinds of things, but we usually have total recall when it comes to how other people mistreated us? You don’t have to, you know. It’s not easy, but you don’t have to. Forgiving is an active process in which you make a conscious choice not to remember.
That’s the way God forgives us. In Isaiah 43:25 (ASB) He says, “I am He who blots out your transgressions for my own sake; and I will not remember your sins.”
One day a friend reminded Clara Barton, the founder of The Red Cross of a particularly hateful thing someone had done to her years before. When she ignored the comment and acted as if she had never heard of it, her friend questioned, “don’t you remember that?” and Barton said; “Oh, that time, I distinctly remember forgetting that moment.” Not bad advice. Some things are better off just forgotten.
Forgiveness really does involve remembering to forget some things. Oh, it doesn’t necessarily mean that you will erase the memory of what happened. That may not be possible. But to forgive someone means you will thereafter treat that person as if he or she had never done the wrong thing to you in the first place.
First, be grateful for the good and keep no list of wrongs. Then Paul practices positive praying. What practical insight the apostle Paul gives us here, as he lets us look at the way he prays for people. He prays for them in a positive way. He says, “In all my prayers for all of you I always pray with joy.” Rick Warren says, “People may resist our advice, spurn our appeals, reject our suggestions and not accept our help but they are powerless against your prayers.” Do you pray for your enemy? Do you pray for the people that irritate you? I heard about a man who did.
His parents were not his enemies; but, he wasn’t close to them. They had never expressed their affection. They never said, “I love you” and never put their arm around him. But, rather than grow angry; he prayed for them. And his experience is really a lesson for all of us. “He said, I prayed every day that I could understand them. He was born late in their lives and the reason they waited so long to have this child was because they had so little, early in their marriage. He said as I began to pray for them, I thought about how they grew up in the coal mines of Kentucky. That is where they met and that’s where the courted and eventually married. They kept working in the coal mines saving pennies just trying to get ahead. They refused to have children until they had a place where they could safely raise a child. And finally, when they had a house, it had no electricity or running water but, with time they were able to bring in the electricity and water. He said that they then decided to have a child but they just kept working, long hours, both of them, every day; because they wanted to send me to college. And then I went off to college and even now, I don’t feel that warmth, I feel like they are always working. Then in my prayer time, I realized that their way of saying I love you was to put food on the table. Their way to saying I love you was to send me to college. Their way of expressing affection was not with a hug or verbal words but what they did for me. And the answer to prayer occurred not in their change but in his. That is not to say that their parenting skills were perfect, but it is to say that prayer can bring about that kind of change. So, I urge you to pray positive prayers for the people in your life. Not sure how to pray for people. Okay, let the Apostle Paul give you an example. First of all he prayed that the people would grow in love, verse nine. He prayed that they would make wise choices and do the right thing, verse ten, and then he prayed that they would live for god’s glory, verse eleven. Want to know how to pray for somebody? Would you agree that is a pretty good example?
I would like you to look at the names you have written on your bulletin. Do you agree these individuals are significant to your happiness and well-being? Now, my question is this: do you pray for them every day? Are you having problems with any of these relationships? If yes, I want to suggest that you find a trusted friend, who will commit to pray with you. This congregation believes in prayer and offers multiple opportunities for prayer. First, don’t be afraid to ask someone to pray with you and to become a prayer partner. Then we have the Tuesday evening prayer group, the Sabbath school class group, and the groups that meet in homes in addition to our morning worship service prayer time. We believe in the power of prayer and are available to pray for you and with you for the situations you are facing.
This burden of working on relationships needs a cooperative effort from all of us. And if you are having trouble in relationships. I urge you to consider becoming part of one of these small groups, who will commit to pray with you on behalf of the people in your world. Maybe it is too much for you to carry on your own. Paul says practice positive praying. After you have been grateful for the good and practice positive praying Number three is to Be patient with God’s progress. One of my favorite verses is verse six. “God began a good work in you and I am sure he will continue it until it is finished when Jesus Christ comes again.”
It is so hard to be patient with people, isn’t it? People just aren’t as capable as you, and it is hard to be patient with their progress. You may have heard the story of the woman seated on an airplane. She opens her Bible and some cynical fellow sitting next to her said, “Do you believe that book?” And she said, “Yes, I do!” He said, “You mean you believe that story about the man that got swallowed by the whale and stayed in its belly for three days?” She said, “I believe it!” He said, “Well, how did he survive?” She said, “I don’t know, but when I get to heaven, I’ll ask him.” He said, “Well, what if he isn’t in heaven?” She said, “Then you can ask him.” I’m not sure that is a model of how to deal with people. But I sure can relate to it.
All of us are brought into contact with people who get on our nerves, they are irritable, distasteful, and tough to deal with, even unlikeable. Paul says that one thing you can do during those times is be patient. Just back off and remember that everyone is somewhere along the stages of construction. That we all are in various phases of construction and we live in a hard hat area. We are a work in progress and all are at different levels and stages of construction. The person you used to be; the new person you are becoming; and ultimately, the person God designed you to be. Even with so many life-changing decisions looming ahead for you and those names you have written on your bulletin, you can move fearlessly into your future. God knows we are all a work in progress.
Have you noticed that our accusations are often reflections of our impatience with the works in progress? “When are you going to grow up?” “Why haven’t you learned this yet?” Those are reflections that we have gotten impatient and we are wanting people to move faster. Every person is a canvas: clay in the potter’s hands. A manuscript in the hand of the author and the story isn’t finished yet. Be patient!
Aren’t we all like gold ore and there is little spots of gold in us that is yet to be refined; specks of light that are yet to be found. If you don’t see it, pray and ask that God will show you what He sees that makes Him love this person so much. Who knows you may receive a new perspective and learn why God loves him or her so much. In addition, you may even learn to enjoy people. - Mother Teresa said "If you judge people, you have no time to love them.".
One final thought. Summarizing, be grateful for the good, practice positive praying, be patient with the process and lastly, love people from the heart. If you love them from your head: that means you have to because they are on the same family tree or in the same business or the same neighborhood. That’s have to love. Love people from the heart is the kind of love that says I’m going to love you no matter what! Regardless of what has been said or done; if you love somebody from the heart you never take advantage of week moments and attack mistakes or errors of judgment that may have occurred. Instead, you take advantage of those moments to show your love. What does this love look like? Let me give some examples. I begin with perhaps the most romantic letter ever written. Written by a former President of the United States of America. His words to his wife will forever be one of my favorite romantic letters written in the last century. Written On March 4, 1983 Ronald Reagan, aboard the AIR FORCE ONE, celebrating their thirty first wedding Anniversary. Wrote:
Dear First Lady
I know tradition has it that on this morning I place cards. Happy
Anniversary cards on your breakfast tray. But things are somewhat mixed
up. I substituted a gift & delivered it a few weeks ago.
Still this is the day, the day that marks 31 years of such happiness as comes
to few men. I told you once that it was like an adolescent's dream of
what marriage should be like. That hasn't changed.
You know I love the ranch but these last two days made it plain I only love it
when you are there. Come to think of it that's true of every place &
every time. When you aren't there I'm no place, just lost in time &
space.
I more than love you, I'm not whole without you. You are life itself to
me. When you are gone I'm waiting for you to return so I can start living
again.
Happy Anniversary & thank you for 31 wonderful years.
I love you
Your Grateful Husband
Would you agree that this is love from the heart?
Then I have this written by Max Lucado to his children to show the love that he has from his heart.
I have a special gift for you,
My gift is warmth at night and sunlit afternoons.
Chuckles and giggles and happy Saturdays.
And when it is stormy out there I want you to be safe in here
This is what I want to give you.
But, how do I give this gift?
Is there a store which sells laughter, a catalog that offers kisses?
No, such a treasure, can’t be bought!
But, it can be given. Here is how I give it to you.
My Valentine’s Day gift is a promise that;
I will always love your mother.
With God as my helper, I will never leave her.
You’ll never come home and find me gone and
Never wake up and find I have run away.
I will love your mother
I will honor your mother
I will cherish your mother
This is my promise and this is my gift on Valentine’s Day.
What a gift! Would you also agree this is love from the heart?
When Jack Benny died his widow received an enormous amount of flowers from well wishes and sympathizers. And those flowers continued for quite some time. But long after that wave of flowers had ceased she continued to receive one long stem rose every day. She stopped the florist, delivery boy, and asked him, “This rose that I receive everyday has no name on it, who is sending it? He said, “Oh, Mrs Benny, we thought you knew. Your husband left instructions that you would receive a single long stemmed rose every day for the rest of your life.”
That is truly love from the heart!
By the way, that is the kind of love that your Heavenly Father has for you. A love from the heart. A love that cares about what we care about and even uses a little ant to recover a lost contact lens. A love that says every day I am going to give them a beautiful sunrise and every day I am going to give them a beautiful night sky. A love that says, when they awaken, my mercy will be as deep as it was when they went to sleep. A love that says, you’ll never do anything to diminish my love and you will never do anything to increase it. That’s the kind of love your Father has for you. Love from His heart! Paul learned to love people with the love of Christ, may we do the same.