Thoughts on Receiving and Giving Gifts
Brad Merrills
Midland SDA Church
May 15, 2010
Even though the book of Genesis says nothing about it, I am convinced that God created humanity into two broad classes; Those who like to shake their presents and guess what is inside, and those who do not. I grew up in the first type of family.
When an event like a birthday or Christmas came around at which gifts were given we like to shake and examine our presents to see what might be inside them. Sometimes we were sure we knew what they contained. Sometimes we were right. Sometimes we were not even close. Of course, part of the fun was to manipulate the data set available to confuse the recipient just a little bit. A brick added weight. Marbles, gravel or other objects might add an intriguing noise. Of course you could always have the largest present under the tree, but find that it contained a smaller box, which contained a smaller box which itself contained a smaller box.. If you really fooled someone it was really a lot of fun.
Of course there are always gag gifts.
When I was growing up we had some close friends who lived next door to us. Their father was a year or two older than my parents, and at times was subjected to some good natured teasing regarding his advanced age. When he was about to turn the really advanced age of 30, it was decided to have a surprise birthday party for him. Of course the gifts were all appropriate for very aged individuals such as a rocking chair, a cane, a blanket etc. One particular gift was a bottle of Grecian Hair Formula to get rid of gray hair. It was a wonderful party.
Now the following Christmas my mother received a gift from this family, wrapped in beautiful paper. Of course it was this bottle of Grecian Hair Formula. And that bottle of Grecian Hair Formula was given back and forth for years.
Giving and receiving gifts allows us to connect with each other. It allows us to communicate in a way that words alone may not allow.
This morning I would like to spend some time pondering spiritual lessons in both receiving and giving gifts. Gifts can teach us a lot about our God, and our Christian walk, and about our humanity.
Jesus spoke of gifts. When you are looking at a spiritual topic you really can’t go wrong when you start with the words of Jesus.
Now there are some who will say that what Jesus has to say is irrelevant in this day and age. It is true that the world is different than when Jesus walked the earth. Circumstances are not the same. And we must respond in ways that are appropriate for our lives and time today. One of the gifts that God has given to us is the ability to reason. And make no mistake about it. God expects us to use our minds and our God given ability to reason to apply the timeless Biblical principles to our lives right here in Michigan in 2010.
Let’s turn to Matthew 7
6Give not that which is holy unto the dogs, neither cast ye your pearls before swine, lest they trample them under their feet, and turn again and rend you.
7Ask, and it shall be given you; seek, and ye shall find; knock, and it shall be opened unto you:
8For every one that asketh receiveth; and he that seeketh findeth; and to him that knocketh it shall be opened.
9Or what man is there of you, whom if his son ask bread, will he give him a stone?
10Or if he ask a fish, will he give him a serpent?
11If ye then, being evil, know how to give good gifts unto your children, how much more shall your Father which is in heaven give good things to them that ask him? Matt 7:6-11
Jesus gives good gifts to us, and He wants us to give good gifts to each other. What is Jesus talking about here when He is talking about good gifts? What makes a good gift?
Before I answer that question let me give an example of a bad gift. In 1946 the United States Ambassador to the Soviet Union was presented with an expertly carved wooden replica of the Great Seal of the United States. It was presented as a gift from Soviet school children. It hung for many years in the ambassador’s study or conference room. It was removed in 1952 when it was discovered that this great seal contained a resonating cavity and a hidden microphone. The device was activated by an electronic beam from outside the building, allowing those operating the device to listen in to conversations in the room. It did not transmit or contain batteries, making it difficult to detect by conventional bug sweeping techniques of the time. This gift was actually a Trojan horse that allowed an enemy to steal what may have been vitally important secrets. I would say that this seal, which on first examination was beautiful, valuable, and even thoughtful, was in fact a bad gift. If you are interested a replica of this bug may be found at the National Cryptologic Museum near Fort Meade, Maryland.
Now I am not the world’s best gift giver. My wife is much better at thinking of thoughtful appropriate gifts to give.
To give a really good gift requires a lot of thought and study. What are the needs of the recipient? What do they already have? What will they be able to use? What will it mean to the recipient?
There are times when we see a need and want to fill it. We think we know what is needed to solve the problem. We want to let God work in our lives. We want to fulfill a need with our gift. Then reality sets in. Some of you may be familiar with the work of Gregg Mortenson or read his book called Three Cups of Tea?
In 1993 Mortenson was descending from his failed attempt to reach the peak of K2. Exhausted and disoriented, he wandered away from his group into the most desolate reaches of northern Pakistan. Alone, without food, water, or shelter he stumbled into an impoverished Pakistani village where he was nursed back to health.
While recovering he observed the village’s 84 children sitting outdoors, scratching their lessons in the dirt with sticks. The village was so poor that it could not afford the $1-a-day salary to hire a teacher. When he left the village, he promised that he would return to build them a school. From that rash, heartfelt promise grew one of the most incredible humanitarian campaigns of our time.
In an early effort to raise money he wrote letters to 580 celebrities, businessmen, and other prominent Americans. His only reply was a $100 check from NBC’s Tom Brokaw. Selling everything he owned, he still only raised $2,400. But his efforts changed when a group of elementary school children in River Falls, Wisconsin, donated $623.40 in pennies, who inspired adults to begin to take action.
Eventually he raised the money and returned with a truck load of supplies to build the school. He had filled the need! But in order to get the supplies to the town he had to cross a river. And the river couldn’t be crossed because there was not bridge. So he had to store his supplies and return and raise funds for a bridge. I’ll let you read the book to get all the details. Eventually he did return, and a bridge was constructed and the school was completed.
The 283 foot Braldu Bridge was completed in 1995 and the Korphe School was completed in 1996. Since then, he’s established 78 schools. In pursuit of his goal, Mortenson has survived an armed kidnapping, fatwas issued by enraged mullahs, repeated death threats, and wrenching separations from his wife and children. Mortenson has been able to be successful working in a very challenging part of the world because he has learned that he needs to learn about the people he is trying to serve. He needs to get their input into what is needed. He learned to listen.
The title of his book, Three cups of tea, has to do with a conversation he had with a village elder who indicated that the first time you share a cup of tea with someone you are a stranger. The second time you share a cup of tea you are a friend. The third time you share a cup of tea you are family. We can only win the trust of another when we walk in their shoes, and take the time to know them and become family.
Wouldn’t you agree that this type of approach defines what a good gift might be. And this is an example of practical Christianity. God wants us to be engaged with our fellow men. He wants us to know them so we can discern their true needs.
The world is full of similar types of problems.
It is a truism that you can give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. If you teach him to fish, he will eat for a lifetime. How do we teach others to fish? How do we build bridges? How do we listen?
Have you ever had someone give you a gift that you don’t want? I’m not talking about the wedding present that was a little unique, or the Christmas sweater that just wasn’t your style. Have you had someone try and impose their will on you? Maybe they are sure what career you should go into. Maybe they know the perfect person that you just have to date. Maybe they know just where you should go to school. And they go beyond polite suggestions and become really pushy. They are sure they know what is best for you, and they won’t rest until you agree with them. They may even invoke God’s will, implying that only they know what God has planned for you life. I don’t know about you, but I don’t respond real well to that approach. I don’t think most people do. The gift that you want to give may not be the gift that is needed or wanted.
There is a responsibility that comes with receiving a gift. Look at the story of the ten talents told by Jesus in Mathew 25; 14-30
14For the kingdom of heaven is as a man travelling into a far country, who called his own servants, and delivered unto them his goods.
15And unto one he gave five talents, to another two, and to another one; to every man according to his several ability; and straightway took his journey.
16Then he that had received the five talents went and traded with the same, and made them other five talents.
17And likewise he that had received two, he also gained other two.
18But he that had received one went and digged in the earth, and hid his lord's money.
19After a long time the lord of those servants cometh, and reckoneth with them.
20And so he that had received five talents came and brought other five talents, saying, Lord, thou deliveredst unto me five talents: behold, I have gained beside them five talents more.
21His lord said unto him, Well done, thou good and faithful servant: thou hast been faithful over a few things, I will make thee ruler over many things: enter thou into the joy of thy lord.
22He also that had received two talents came and said, Lord, thou deliveredst unto me two talents: behold, I have gained two other talents beside them.
23His lord said unto him, Well done, good and faithful servant; thou hast been faithful over a few things, I will make thee ruler over many things: enter thou into the joy of thy lord.
24Then he which had received the one talent came and said, Lord, I knew thee that thou art an hard man, reaping where thou hast not sown, and gathering where thou hast not strawed:
25And I was afraid, and went and hid thy talent in the earth: lo, there thou hast that is thine.
26His lord answered and said unto him, Thou wicked and slothful servant, thou knewest that I reap where I sowed not, and gather where I have not strawed:
27Thou oughtest therefore to have put my money to the exchangers, and then at my coming I should have received mine own with usury.
28Take therefore the talent from him, and give it unto him which hath ten talents.
29For unto every one that hath shall be given, and he shall have abundance: but from him that hath not shall be taken away even that which he hath.
30And cast ye the unprofitable servant into outer darkness: there shall be weeping and gnashing of teeth.
God has given ever one of us more gifts than we can count. We wouldn’t exist if it were not for the gifts of God. But with these gifts come responsibility and accountabliltiy.
One responsibility is to use our gifts in an effective and efficient manner. God did not give us unlimited resources. It requires a lot of thought and effort to decide what are the best uses of limited resources. We would all like to solve all of the world’s problems. But we can’t. Jesus said that the poor we will have with us always. That doesn’t mean that we throw up our hands and way that we succeed so we shouldn’t even try. It means that we need to use the intelligence that God gave us to make appropriate choices about how to get the most bang for our buck.
A related findings is the realization that He also did not give us all the same gifts. And I am glad that He didn’t. And that brings me to another biblical principal regarding gifts. If we want to fill all the needs that God would have us fill, we have to work together. We have to cooperate.
We each have our own strengths and areas that we can contribute where others may not. We cannot fill all the needs of the world ourselves. God wants us to work together. I by myself, can’t give all the gifts that are needed. The Midland SDA church can’t give all the gifts that are needed. The Michigan Conference of SDA or even the General Conference can’t fill all the needs of the world. Even the Bill and Melinda Gates foundation has to pick and chose where to make gifts. Filling the needs of the world takes the whole world. Giving is a blessing that is best shared with all of our fellow men.
Another facet of our gift giving is the need for orderliness in our giving. As Seventh-day Adventists we dealt with this issue early in our denominational history. There is always a tendency to give when great and exciting needs are brought to our attention. Sometimes we find it easy to raise money to build a new hospital or school, or to give to alleviate the suffering after a major disaster. It can be more difficult to raise money to pay for a heating bill, or to replace a roof on an old building, or to pay mundane maintenance expenses. Early in our history we often had great variation in the amount of money that would come in for different causes. Work might have to stop or be slowed because the funds were not available for routine work, but then large amounts of money would come in for new work, leaving the older causes unfunded. We were led to understand that God values systematic consistent giving. Our giving should be a part of our routine budget, just like we budget for utilities, and our mortgage and other expenses.
Seventh-day Adventists believe that God commands us to give a 10% tithe of our increase. These funds go to support the work of the ministers and related expenses both in Michigan and throughout the world. The tithe does not support the local church expenses. These expenses are covered through other offerings such as the combined budget offering. God blesses us when we remember to give back to Him through systematic giving of our tithes and offerings. Systematic giving allows His work to be carried out in an efficient manner.
Gifts can bring out the best in us. One of my favorite Bible stories is the story of David and Abigail and Nabel. You remember the story found in 1 Sam 25. Nabel was a wealthy and powerful man. David and his men had been good to Nabel’s shepherds when they were in the field. They had provided protection. And in this time and place it was not always safe to be a shepard in the field. Nabel’s men appreciated the help that David and his men had given. David sent his men to ask for food from Nabel at shearing time and was treated rudely. Insults were directed at him. I’m not an expert in the culture and times of David. But I understand that what David was asking was not unprecedented according to the culture and times. And I understand that this was rightly perceived as a great insult. David was ready to go to war. Literally. He had 400 men ready to wipe Nabel and his household off the map. He later admitted that he was prepared to kill every male in the household. That kind of a response today would have made international news in many parts of the world.
Now don’t you love the God we serve. We sometimes get the idea that God only works though men who speak softly, who always think through what they do. David wasn’t even close to being that kind of a person. David was capable of making bad decisions. David was capable of being rash. David had a temper. And yet God used David. And that gives me hope when I look at my faults, that maybe God can use a person like me.
So what did Abigail do? Abigail was a peacemaker. Abigail gave gifts. She gave food that was likely badly needed by David. But she gave something more important. She brought out the good side of David. She kept him from acting in a way he would later regret. The prisons of the world are full of men and women who acted rashly in a moment of rage. Now I don’t think David would have gone to prison for what he did. Although I am not an expert on the time and culture of David, I suspect that the world was a different place, and that he would have gotton away with his actions. But I also suspect that he would have regretted his actions. The world is full of people who would give everything they own to take back an action in a fit of rage, or a moment of impulse. Relationships and lives can be damaged in many ways. Time flows only one way. What a gift we are given when we have an Abigail to help us see this before it is too late. God wants us to give in a way the brings out the best in others and ourselves.
I’m glad that the God that we serve knows what we need.
Another spiritual principal is that the value of the gift has nothing to do with the amount of the gift. The God who created everything in the universe does not need our possessions in order to carry out His work. Some people say that one of the greatest benefits that come when we pray for someone else is how we are changed by out own prayers. Our entire attitude changes about someone when we go to God and ask Him to bless that person. The same forces are at work when we give from our hearts. God works to provide a blessing from what we give. The little boy who gave his lunch to Jesus fed a multitude with his loaves and fishes.
The widow that put her two mites into the offering was said by Jesus to have put in more than all the rich who had put large amounts of money into the treasury.
Everyone has the ability to give the gifts of empathy, time, listening, and prayer.
And this principle brings us to another related principle elucidated in Mather 6. We don’t give so others can see what we do.
Matthew 6
1Take heed that ye do not your alms before men, to be seen of them: otherwise ye have no reward of your Father which is in heaven.
2Therefore when thou doest thine alms, do not sound a trumpet before thee, as the hypocrites do in the synagogues and in the streets, that they may have glory of men. Verily I say unto you, They have their reward.
3But when thou doest alms, let not thy left hand know what thy right hand doeth:
4That thine alms may be in secret: and thy Father which seeth in secret himself shall reward thee openly.
8When the disciples saw this, they were indignant. "Why this waste?" they asked. 9"This perfume could have been sold at a high price and the money given to the poor."
10Aware of this, Jesus said to them, "Why are you bothering this woman? She has done a beautiful thing to me. 11The poor you will always have with you, but you will not always have me. 12When she poured this perfume on my body, she did it to prepare me for burial. 13I tell you the truth, wherever this gospel is preached throughout the world, what she has done will also be told, in memory of her."
Some think that God will accept any gift that we give. That is not a Biblical concept. Right at the beginning of the Bible we have the story of Cain and Able. Now Cain gave God a gift that was right from his heart. He was farmer, and from the sounds of it a very good farmer.
I have had some really good farmers and gardeners in my family. I love to listen to them tell how they were able to get different crops to grow in just the right way. I also like to eat their food. I think Cain was this type of person. He loved growing things. Being able to do this well was a big part of his identity. You know, we often tie up a lot of our identity in our profession, and sometimes it gets us into trouble. We should always remember that we are more than what we do for a living. Well Cain felt that he needed to disobey God, and sacrifice what he wanted to give, not what was needed, not what God wanted. And when God rejected his sacrifice, we all know where that led.
Another Bible character who fell into a related trap was King Saul. He had been told to utterly destroy the Amalakites. Well, he destroyed all that was worthless and useless. But he kept the best of the oxen and the best of the lambs and he spared and he did not destroy the king. And God rejected King Saul because King Saul rejected God.
We have talked quite a bit this morning about the responsibilities of the gift giver. But there are responsibilities of the recipient as well. HIV infection is a devastating disease. Even with effective the effective treatments that are now available that have changed HIV infection from the relatively rapid death sentence that it once was to what in some cases is a serious but more manageable chronic disease HIV is still a horrible disease. And the social isolation and stigma that can accompany HIV infection can often be as bad as the disease itself. There are numerous cases around the world were infected individuals lost their family, their home, their jobs, their place in society through no fault of their own simply because of their HIV infection. A recent New York Times article details the stories of children in Africa who have been infected from birth who were jeered and shunned because of their supposed sins. Remember the story of ten lepers. Leprosy in the time of Jesus was similar to what HIV infection is now. You were an outcast from society. Jesus healed 10 lepers. He released them from a life of misery and rejection. Ten were cleansed, but only one came back. (Luke 17;17)
When a gift is given it binds both the giver and the recipient together. Both have a responsibility to each other. Accountability is important in both the giver and recipient of a gift.
One of the most personal gifts that can be given is the gift of a major body organ. Many of us check the box on our drivers license so others can have the opportunity to benefit from our organs in the event of our death. I would encourage all of you to consider this option. If you die you aren’t going to need those organs anymore. God will give you new ones in the new earth. Your old organs can literally save someone’s life.
Some organs, like the kidney and the liver, can be donated by a living donor. This is not a simple gift to make. It takes a lot more effort than simply checking a box on your driver’s license. There is serious pain, major surgery, and significant risk to making such a gift. The transplant of a kidney can release an individual from being tied to dialysis treatments over and over and over. I have known individuals to take themselves off dialysis because they did not want to continue to live that way. A liver recipient’s life is usually at stake. Without the transplant most would die. There is a lifelong connection between an individual that has been saved from major illness, or death by such a gift. How would you feel if your life was saved by someone else’s organ. Would you feel a responsibility live your life any differently if you were given such someone else’s kidney or a part of their liver? If your life was saved from alcoholic cirrhosis by a liver transplant would you drink again after your transplant?
Other organs such as the heart can only be harvested upon the death of the donor. That is an even greater sacrifice. We are the recipients of such a gift. For God so loved the world that He gave His only Sun, that whosoever believeth in Him should not perish but have everlasting life. John 3 16. Jesus wants to put His heart within us and save us from a life of misery. How are you going to respond to that gift?